


Lost and found

by My_Evak_Heart



Series: ELIOTT + LUCAS [51]
Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-01 12:03:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18334259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Evak_Heart/pseuds/My_Evak_Heart
Summary: Eliott and Lucas gets into an argument and Eliott say something that really hurts Lucas. He says he's fine but...he's not





	Lost and found

They knew it was going to happen one day or another.

While cleaning up the appartement, Lucas had found Eliott’s bottle of Lithium under a pile of dirty clothes. He picked it up to put it on the nightstand when he saw that it was still full despite the month touching to its end. Lucas had promised to not spy on Eliott regarding his medication but, it raised his concerns.

“How long?” Lucas asked when Eliott came back from work, holding the bottle of medication in his hand. He knew Eliott would get mad but medication was serious matter and Lucas would feel guilty if something happened to Eliott because he hadn’t taken his medication and he knew about it.

Eliott’s face hardened when he saw what Lucas was holding. “I thought we agreed that I was responsible enough to take my medication, we said no spying,” he said, sounding bitter.

“I wasn’t spying one you, I found then while cleaning,” Lucas corrected. “And, clearly, you’re not responsible enough because you didn’t take them, Eliott. The bottle is  _full_  when it should be almost  _empty_.”

This angered Eliott, he didn’t like being controlled. He just didn’t get why he needed to take medication when he was feeling alright. Being around Lucas stabilized his mood and made him feeling good all the time. It just didn’t make sense for him to take it, especially since the medicine ended up decreasing his feelings and creativity. “This isn’t any of your business Lucas, I can handle them on my own!”

His tone was raised and Lucas hated picking fight with Eliott. Sometimes, he would slam the door and yell and it scared Lucas a bit.

The brunet bit his lip, trying to not flinch. “Sorry to care about your health and well being… I’m just trying to look out for you.”

Eliott shook his head in frustration. “I don’t need you breathing down my neck. I can’t live with someone who feels like they need to check over me all the time. It makes me feel like I’m suffocating Lucas! I’m not a child and I shouldn’t be treated like one! You know what? You’re just like Lucille. I thought you were different but you’re not, you’re just mothering me just like her.”

Closing his eyes, Lucas tried to stay composed but, he could tell from the lump in his throat that he would break down any time. He never thought that he’d hear those words from Eliott. Lucas was always careful to not act too controlling like Lucille was and simply look out for his boyfriend but, this time, it rubbed Eliott the wrong way and caused him to lash out at Lucas.

Lucas shook his head and walked away from the situation. He didn’t want to cry In front Eliott and he just didn’t want to argue anymore. “Come talk to me when you decide to grow up, Eliott. I was only asking for your own good. If you don’t want to take care of your own mental health then, that’s on you.”

Not letting time for Eliott to say anything, Lucas locked himself in the bathroom to prevent Eliott from following. And…seeing him cry.

Lucas wasn’t one to sob in a corner like a crybaby after a fight or argument, he prefered to sulk. But, Eliott’s words had gotten to him and he couldn’t hold his tears anymore. So, he let them flow, salty water cascading down his cheeks, crying in silence with his back resting against the door, trying to contain his sobs so it wouldn’t alert Eliott.

It took a couple breathing exercises to get Eliott to calm down, descending from his sudden burst of anger. He sat on the couch and waited for Lucas to return but started to get worried after a few minutes. What was he doing? Eliott went up to the door and knocked gently. “Lucas?” 

He quickly wiped his tears with the back of his hand, sniffling. “I’m  _fine_ , Eliott. I just…I need some time alone,” he said, voice a bit hoarse from crying, holding his next tears so he wouldn’t be betrayed. Lucas couldn’t let Eliott know that he was crying. It would break him to know that he caused him enough pain to make him cry.

Eliott almost walked away, going to prepare dinner when he heard a sniffle on the other side of the door. Fuck. He had hurt him. This is  _exactly_  what Eliott feared would happen. He tugged at his hair in anger. This is why he was so hesitant to be in a relationship with Lucas. Eliott could easily hurt people without even realizing the impact of what he was doing, all because of his mood swings. He would yell, slam doors and say hurtful things on a whim. Lucas was the  _last_  person that he’d want to hurt. He couldn’t bear the thought of putting his kind hearted boyfriend through so much pain. Tonight though, he had hurt the boy he loved and he was never going to forgive himself. Lucas rarely cried and Eliott had driven to him to tears, it was all  _his_  fault.

Drawing an intake of breath, Eliott knocked a second time on the door. “Lucas… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” He slide down the door and sat down, staring down at his lap as he felt the guilt building up inside him. “Come on, please, just open up, Lucas. I shouldn’t have been so harsh with you. Can we please just talk it over?”

“I’m fine, Eliott. I’m going to shower.” Lucas turned on the water but didn’t remove his clothes or got inside. He sat on the toilet lid and cried some more before actually getting the shower, realizing Eliott won’t buy his lie if he doesn’t come out of the bathroom with wet hair.

Eliott didn’t leave the door, he sat there and waited for Lucas. His heart was beating fast and a part of him feared that Lucas would come out of the shower, pack and leave. Eliott was always afraid of being abandoned because of the things he unpredictable behavior and, as much as he knew that he deserved it, he loved Lucas too much.

A few minutes later, when the bathroom door finally opened, Eliott jumped up to his feet and pulled the small, wet haired boy into a bone crushing hug. Water was dripping from Lucas’s hair onto Eliott’s shirt and his towel didn’t feel too secure around his waist but neither of them minded. It took Lucas a couple seconds to hug back. But eventually he did, wrapping his arms around Eliott’s torso as he pushed his face into his chest.

Eliott gently pulled back so that he could get a good look at Lucas, “I’m so sorry, mon amour. You’re [not] like Lucille, I should’ve never said that, I-”

Lucas shook his head. “It’s okay. You were upset-”

But, this wasn’t convincing Eliott. He knew that what he did was wrong and let Lucas brush it off as if it was nothing. “No. It’s [ _not_ ] okay. Being upset isn’t an excuse to say hurtful things to you. You were only looking after me and being a caring boyfriend, nothing like Lucille…and I wasn’t being truthful with you. I’ve been feeling so good lately and you know I avoid taking it when I’m feeling well.”

Lucas bit his lip. “Do you remember what the doctor said? Medication isn’t going to ‘heal’ your brain, it’s only going to only going to stabilize your mood and prevent you from going from an extreme to another as often. But, you have to take it continuously or else it won’t work. I know you’ll be forced to take these for the rest of your life and it must suck but, going off the meds without supervision from a doctor is dangerous for your mental health and safety, Eliott.”

Eliott nodded in understanding. “I’m gonna try, okay? I’ll try for you. I don’t want this to interfere with our relationship. Maybe if I had taken my medication I wouldn’t have lashed out on you…maybe I wouldn’t have made you cry. I’m gonna do this for us, especially you.”

While Lucas could see the good intention in Eliott, he couldn’t let him do that. “No,” he said, shaking his head. “You have to try for  _you_. Not for me.”

Lucas was right. Changing for other people doesn’t work, you have to change and do thing for  _you_ if you want results.

“I’ll try for me. I promise.” Eliott held his pinky up, waiting for Lucas who chuckled at the childishness of the action and locked their pinkies together. “Now, can we start on dinner? I’m starving.”

“I’m gonna go get dressed first,” Lucas informed, still standing there in only a towel and damp hair. He made a move to head to their bedroom where his clothes were when Eliott pulled him, demanding a kiss first.


End file.
